28 December 2007
The Key to a "Good" Life
)Published on December 28th, 2007 @ 12:09:36 pm, using 558 words, 148 views
Yesterday, I somehow thought of the "I just want to be normal!" kids, if you know what I mean. Kids that want to be normal instead of being special (and normal is: looking like Beyonce or Tom Cruise). The key to a good life is probably one of the simplest to describe, and one of the hardest to achieve: "Be in peace with yourself", that's all.
But why is being in peace with yourself the answer? First of all, you are the only one to feel your emotions, no one has the same feelings as you. For you, you are the most important person on this planet. Everything you do will eventually be done for you, and for no one else. People that do lots of stuff for others do this for there own sake, it makes them feel better. Helping others is a good thing though, and fits well within evolution. Helping others will let the other members of the "tribe" now that you can be really useful for them, and thus, they will help you when you're in trouble. So the ones that like to help others have an evolutionary advantage to the ones that don't, and will survive and reproduce easier.
That said, helping others wouldn't be done if it didn't gave you a good feeling. So in the end, you're helping others for your own sake, and not for them. This isn't a bad thing, but accepting this "egoism" can make it easier for you to live a "good" life.
To go back to the answer "Be in peace with yourself". Self-acceptance is the key, since you're the only one to feel your emotions. If you life your whole pretending to be someone else, or complaining about the things you don't have, you will die in conflict with yourself. If you, however, accept who you are, and know your strengths and weaknesses, you will feel more comfortable with yourself. And that is what matters. You can live life doing nothing, helping no one, stay at home, etc., and still die happily. As long as you accept yourself and the things you do, and be in peace with what you are, you won't die in conflict with yourself.
For me, there are several things I want to achieve before I die. When I'm an old man, and I think of the things I have done in my life, I want to have the feeling that I haven't wasted it. I already have achieved several things to be proud of, but there's more to be done.
One way to achieve self-acceptance, is the following (which works for me). (Almost) every decision I make is thought over. For instance, I love making music these days, but I haven't started playing piano until 5 months ago. I could be thinking "Awww, why didn't you started earlier, that would have made you way better now", but that isn't the right thing to think. I made a decision years ago, when my parents asked me if I would like to play an instruments. "No", was the answer. At that time, I didn't want to play, and instead of complaining, I accept that decision.
I have lunch now, so I stop here. My explanation might not be clear, but in the end, it all comes down to Self-Acceptance. Remember that.
Erik
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